What It Takes to Raise SIX Kids and be a CEO | Tobi Emonts-Holley (father of 6, CEO of Tiphereth)

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Tobi: It's the emotional freedom to have said, okay, I've done my bit. I've done something for myself. I've worked out. I've listened to podcast, audio book, whatever, music, spent some time for myself and now I'm ready to be present for the family and to serve the family, to serve the business. So that's been massive. And this approach of being disciplined in your areas in life to gain freedom, that's been massive for me also for parenting.

Adam: Welcome to Startup Dad, the podcast where we dive deep into the lives of dads who are also leaders in the world of startups and business. I'm your host, Adam Fishman, and in this episode, I sat down with Tobi Emonts-Holley. Tobi is the CEO of Tipareth, where he joined as a volunteer almost 18 years ago.

Tipareth is an Edinburgh based community for adults with learning disabilities and other support needs. Tobi also holds a PhD in economics. Most impressively, Tobi and his wife are the parents of six children. In this conversation, Tobi talks about the joys and challenges of raising six unique kids. He shares his philosophies on fatherhood, what it takes to be a great partner to his wife, and how they share responsibilities to manage a household filled with so many humans.

We discuss the role of presence in parenting, the concept of no magic pill when it comes to raising children and how he and his wife instill values, ethics, and a sense of purpose in their kids. I am in awe of how Tobi and his wife are able to manage their family, the patience it requires, and what he's learned along the way from both his successes and his failures.

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Adam: I would like to welcome Tobi Emonts-Holley to the Startup Dad podcast. Tobi, thank you for being here today. It is a pleasure having you on the show.

Tobi: Thank you so much for the invite. I'm super excited.

Adam: Awesome. You may be able to tell by Tobi's accent that he is not from the United States. He is my second international guest, which I love. We're getting more of a world view on the pod. So Tobi I wanted to get started and just ask you to tell us a little bit about your background.

Tobi: Sure. Yeah. So the accent is German sprinkled in with some uh, I guess, English/Scottish. So I live in Scotland, but it's nearly half my life now that I've spent here. Yeah, I grew up in Germany, the kind of Western part of Germany. And when I was 19 I left home and I went abroad.

So I went to Scotland to do a voluntary year, which I know isn't very common in the US but, It's probably a European thing to, to spend a year, you know, kind of traveling and working out what do you want to do because most of the people don't know what they want to do, you know, at 19 or 18. I certainly didn't.

So, I came to Scotland and I volunteered for a year in a kind of care home and day workshop place for adults with learning disabilities. Again, wasn't necessarily something that I thought I would do later on in life, but I still, I kind of thought it would be cool to, to do something very, very different that most people weren't doing and to do something that would kind of expose me to a completely different way of life and you know, give back to whatever degree I could at that time. And it was the most transformative year of my life. It was the hardest year of my life, but I met amazing people there. The most amazing person I met was my wife. She was like the third person that I met when I came to Scotland. Within 60 minutes, we'd seen each other, met each other and we lived and worked together from day one. So, that's the starting point. Yeah. And kind of been in, in Scotland ever since. We've got six wonderful kids. I've been married since 2011, so, it's absolutely fantastic. And luckily now I've kind of progressed to be the CEO of the organization that I volunteered in when I first came to Scotland.

Adam: Oh, wow. That's pretty amazing. We're going to get into all of this stuff. I want to go all the way back to very young Tobi and you're German, so you're from Germany, probably where you were born and raised until you were, you know, 19 and came to Scotland. But tell me about what your family was like growing up.

I would ask if you had a typical German upbringing, but I don't actually know what a typical German upbringing is. So maybe you can tell us what it was like growing up in Germany.

Tobi: Yeah. No, I can. I think the easiest way to, to kind of say what my, I'll tell you what my upbringing was like was very different to what my kids have, completely different. So I grew up an only child in the middle of the city you know, fourth floor and just kind of. You know, all kind of our extended family was living in a different city, so it was just me and my parents and our family, I guess, as such, you know, the way I saw it was really was our neighbors was kind of good friends from, you know, back from church and kindergarten and all of that.

That was, you know, our kind of social circle. But it wasn't an extended family that was around us. We see my grandparents like two or three times a year when we kind of travel through for Christmas and Easter. So,that was kind of the family environment. Yeah, and growing up the kind of western part of Germany, very close to the Netherlands.

So extremely flat, like no mountains whatsoever just kind of a concrete jungle, tons of people around. And you know, obviously it was home. I loved it growing up. I thought this was like the greatest city that I was growing up in. But then once we kind of started traveling a bit we never traveled very far, but we went to like France and England.

And the first time we came to England, I got completely hooked on everything British. I just thought this fantastic. I love the language. I love the countryside. It was so different to everything I was kind of growing up in. That I had kind of set my sights on at one point in my life, I want to live in the UK or, you know, maybe New Zealand or something like that. So that was kind of, that was a spark there when I was like 12, 13.

Adam: And what did your parents do when you were growing up? Did they work? And did anything that they do sort of inspire you into the career that you have now?

Tobi: Again, completely different, right? So because now me kind of running an organization, kind of more the entrepreneurial business roots kind of leadership. my dad was a PE and math teacher. So that's a very kind of incredibly stable job in Germany. You're unfireable. So it was just like a steady career.

And my mom though, on the other side, she was running a paper restoration workshop. So she would be restoring old books and old paintings and that was amazing. I always love when I. When I was off sick from school, she would take me to her workplace and I could just like hang out and would have all these amazing pieces of art and, you know, learn a bit about it.

And it was a fantastic place. So I remember that very fondly. So that was great.

Adam: What a cool career. I mean, PE and math also cool, but restoring old paper, art, books, things like that, what a fascinating job to have and a fascinating thing for you to experience growing up,

Tobi: It was. I mean, I spent a lot of time in museums because of it, which I didn't appreciate at the time, but, you know.

Adam: I think we all appreciate museums a lot more as adults than we do as kids. I just took my kids to a whole bunch of museums and I could tell that for sure. So you know, you have a partner now, you have six kids, you met your wife at a pretty young age.

I wanted to ask though, before we even talk about that, your life is very different now from your life growing up. You were an only child. Now you have six kids. A lot of times I hear from people that, you know, they were part of a big family. So then they wanted to have a big family, but what was sort of the motivation for you to do something completely different than what you were used to and exposed to growing up?

Tobi: Yeah, I guess, I mean, you know, some elements really stand out and one would be Christmas celebrations. So, you know, kind of be the traditional thing, you know, my parents tried to make it as nice as possible, of course, and we would, go to church and in Germany, you celebrate Christmas a bit different.

So we would go and kind of unwrap the presents on Christmas Eve. So Christmas Eve is the big day. And the next two days, I just, you know, you go and meet family, but it obviously not as big as in the UK or in the U. S. where the 25th is the big one. But I remember just a lot of times just spending it, you know, the three of us.

And I was always just longing for, you know, just sharing it with somebody else. I always thought, you know, it'd be cool to have a little sister or even a younger brother or something, just somebody else to just enjoy those moments. And when we used to go on holidays, well, you know, my parents, deservedly wanted to break and rest and be lying on the beach.

And I'll be just standing there just like, you know, I need somebody to play with me. This is boring now. You know, and for them they were like, yeah, you know, in a minute and, you know, be reading their books and I'd be just like digging in the sand by myself. So those moments I always thought like, do you know what, if I'm lucky enough to have kids, I definitely don't want to have just one, I kind of thought four would be a great number.

So, my wife and I go back and forwards on that. I'm pretty sure I said four. She definitely said six. So she always wanted a big family. That was kind of, that was her dream, but yeah, so we both, we were both kind of in in agreement. Big family is great. You know, also that extended family when we're older and we've got our kids coming back home with their partners and their kids.

That was just a dream we had to have that big family.

Adam: Yeah, that's awesome. That's going to be a very full house as your kids get older and come home for holidays.

Tobi: Oh yeah.

Adam: But how fun. So you met your wife when you were 19, right? And came for that year to Scotland. So tell me about your wife. What was she doing then?

What is she doing now? And then tell me about your kids. Curious. You've got six of them. So if you can remember all their names and ages, I'd love to hear at least about how old they are and what the spread is.

Tobi: So, yeah. So my wife was just similar age, we're just exactly six weeks apart which is pretty cool. And so she grew up in England and then when she was 12 her mom and her sister, they moved up to Scotland and her mom got married at that point too. Her stepdad and the two of them actually ran one of the care homes as part of the organization that I now run.

And they were running the home that I ended up living in with her together. So I lived for a good year and a half with my future in-laws, which, yeah, was interesting, you know, but at least we knew each other very well. So there was no more secrets. and she... She trained actually to be hairdresser and that was her career path.

Her passion was always horses. So that was like a big passion of hers. She was a teenager, completely obsessed with them. She had a horse and that was also one of the fun moments when we got together that, you know, that complete different world. So the city boy, I had guinea pigs as a kid, but my dad was allergic to cats and dogs and had no experience with any animals, but I always thought it'd be fun.

And then I met this girl who had a horse, so we had to like, go out at 5am and muck out the stable and just be exposed to this semi farm life which was just super cool. You know, eye opening again, completely different world, so. That was really fun. And yeah, then she started trying to become a teacher after a year of, we were kind of doing this volunteering year together.

She started to become a teacher and yeah, we obviously we were together and we were lucky enough to have our first child when she was still 22 and she just finished her teacher training course just a couple of weeks before she gave birth. So her kind of final graduation presentation, she was just super heavily pregnant.

So that was her thing. And, you know, depending, I think what the, you know, how it is with the kids when they get older, I guess that's something that she might want to go back into. But the other thing she's been doing kind of all her adult life is working in one of the care homes here and looking after people with learning disabilities.

So that's been kind of her stable career for the last decade or so.

Adam: That's amazing. And so the two of you were basically 22 when you got married and had your first kid. And you have six kids now and what's this sort of age ranges? What are we working with here in your household?

Tobi: 1 to 13. So, we had four kids just like one after, so we've had a 13,11, 9 and 7 year old. Then we have a dog who's five, so he fits the gap. And then we've got a three and a one year old now, so that's pretty exciting. So yeah, we've got three girls, three boys the oldest is a boy, then we've got three girls and then the two little ones are boys again.

Adam: Wow. What a spread. And, you know, with the six kids, is it kind of everything that you were expecting with a bigger family? You know, do they all kind of entertain each other or help take care of each other or is it just complete chaos in your household all the time?

Tobi: It's both - it is unexpected stuff and expected stuff. Right. So I guess the stuff with the kind of negatives as such, if you want to call them that which is just the mess. I mean, the amount of cleaning up after people, it's just it's just insane. I mean, the amount of times you know, if you're thinking you've got one or two kids, you might tell them like maybe 200 times to take the dinner plate and put it, you know, on the side.

Like I have to say that like a thousand times because like, you know, so many kids so it's just the level of insanity in the house can be pretty high at times. So yeah, cleaning is definitely one. Then the arguing you know, depending on who has a beef with whom, you know, that can go on.

But nothing that would kind of, you know, make us feel like, oh, you know. Kind of what have we done? Because it is absolutely an amazing life and the kids are absolutely fantastic together. So it's so nice to see, especially the big ones. Now looking after the little ones, like they fight over the little ones, you know, they want to. Go out and play with them or just, you know, babysit one of the little ones. So that I guess is one of the hopes we always had. It's like they would grow up to be like, great friends and work and play together and they're doing that. And it's really nice to hear when other people meet us and the kind of compliments we get about them to say how lovely they are and how, just what a unit they seem to be.

You know, they're just a real fantastic unit that really looks after each other. So it's beautiful.

Adam: That's amazing. Thinking about it like a unit is great. I mean, your family almost has enough players to put together a soccer team or I guess football.

Tobi: Yeah. We figured out, I think the sport we can do is volleyball. So I think volleyball has six. So…

Adam: There you go. There you go. So, so you got married at a pretty young age, at least by I would say United States standards. And maybe rest of the world standards too. You got married at 22 years old. There are a lot of 22 year olds who can't even figure out how to set an alarm and get out of bed on time.

But I guess that, you know, at 19, you left home and started kind of living on your own and having real responsibility. But when you're 22 how did you and your wife know you were ready for marriage? And how did you know you were ready to start a family at that age?

Tobi: Yeah. So I think it, it all comes back down to us having lived and worked together from day one. Right. So as such, I guess you could, you know, I mean, we got engaged less than two years after we met each other. So 22 months in and now it comes kind of back to the fact that we were kind of living and working together from our first kind of day together. And we just probably just skipped a lot of the normal dating stuff where, you know, you text somebody, you start, you know, going out and then you maybe stay over and, you know, months or years down the road you move in with each other.

I mean, we done all of that. So. We had known each other inside out because I think also of the field we were working in the kind of care sector, you know, you go through some pretty hard times because you're supporting vulnerable adults and things happen to them like medically or socially that can be quite tough, especially as a young person, to deal with and have that much responsibility.

You know, be in hospital, you know, supporting somebody and, you know, they feel really poorly, but we were together doing that. So that kind of, I think that, that bonding of like going through kind of tough times, whether that was for us or with others. And I think the other element being that both of us had kind of elements within even our family life where, you know, we had kind of my grandparents died fairly early on and my wife had struggles with parts of her family. So we went through all of that stuff at a very young age. So we had this really, I think, intense bond from that get go.

And it was just a deep knowing of like, we knew we were going to get through all of that and we knew we were going to be together. And then at one point it was just like. Well, let's just, you know, let's just start. Let's, you know, let's get engaged. And then we're planning a wedding. And we got pregnant.

First we had to postpone the wedding, had our first born and the wedding a few months after which was very beautiful. I wish I could go back. It just went by so fast, you know, like in a nice Scottish kind of castle here. It was just fantastic day. Luckily, we've got pictures. But yeah, so we had the first baby and we were always juggling a lot of things.

So, in the care home. So we were doing this, you know, like studying and for her was then at one point also studying for her teaching degree. We're both still working and then we're starting a family together.

So we're always able to juggle lots of things and they seem to work out somehow. We seem to have found a system and it was never a question of could we not manage we always felt we could and therefore we started having a family young.

Adam: Wow. And now you mentioned going to university you have an advanced degree, right? You've a doctorate which is, man, that's almost like having another kid. The amount of work that goes into that.

Tobi: Oh Yeah, but none of the joys.

Adam: None of the joys, only the sorrows. Yeah.

So you mentioned that you remember wanting to have four kids.

You remember your wife saying. Six. What was that conversation like? And that sort of decision start a family? Was it pretty natural and normal or were there some discussion like is now the right time or when should we do this?

Tobi: So I mean in all fairness she was more ready than me for sure, you know, I mean, A. I was an only child so I didn't really know even what it, you know, like I'd never really engaged, I didn't have a youngest sibling to even just know, you know, that's what that feels like. And she did have a younger sister and she was close with her cousins growing up.

And as I said, our family was pretty spread out, so my cousins were just like distant relatives, so I never really engaged with them to a massive degree. So she felt very much ready. But then again, because of the work we were doing, which was kind of, you know, looking after people and kind of putting yourself second and really making sure that somebody else comes first at certain moments in the day.

And that felt natural. So I think the work probably eased that kind of burden for me. But was certainly terrified. Like I was terrified when, you know, when she first said like, Oh, we're pregnant. I was like, well, okay, here we go then. That's like, you know, cause there's again, nobody in my social circle was anywhere near that stage.

You know, most people had a girlfriend or no girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. But yeah, we were like the first to have kids, I think also the first to kind of get married within that circle. So there was nobody to kind of lean on and ask. We're just in very much uncharted territory. But again, I think because the bond was so strong, we felt we'd be okay.

Adam: That's a really really great way of thinking about it. So I wanted to mention something that you told me in the prep for this show, and you mentioned that there's no magic pill, but you can still build the life of your dreams, or you can also build the life of your dreams. What does that mean to you?

What does it mean that there's no magic pill?

Tobi: So I think the no magic pill really comes back to whenever, especially in the light of kind of presenting your life online, which is it's very hard to do you know, unless you're having a documentary and that will be scripted. So I'm not even sure that will be very real. But the outside perception, once you start mentioning certain metrics, so if I said, you know, like six kids or whatever then people straight away go to, oh they obviously have tons of help or they must be really rich or, you know, they have the grandparents around or all of these things that might be assumed that all like it can be that easy or that there's something there. This is not the full story. And when I look at our lives, I would say there is no magic pill. You know, we both don't come from money.

My wife has her parents living in the same city. And they do, they're great whenever there's an emergency that, that needs, you know, childcare, they're there, but they're not on a kind of, not a regular basis, not like every Friday, the kids go to theirs, you know, it's not that type of arrangement.

My parents my whole family's in a different country. So we don't have them. We don't have nannies or people helping us clean or any of that. So it really is just the two of us. And from that point of view, it's just like this. We don't have a magic pill and you don't need to have a magic pill as in whether that's money or certain talent for whatever.

But you can still create what you want. And very much you were touching on the kind of the doctorate. I'm certainly nowhere near the smartest person in any room. I did a doctorate in something. That really didn't suit me. I like the challenge and I wanted to see if I could do it. So again, it's just like, if it's down to hard work and if your purpose is kind of strong enough and you want to go for it and you want to push it, you can create that life and you can, you know, build whatever you want to build.

Adam: I love that perspective. I wanted to ask you too, you mentioned kind of living your life online And I think that's actually how I discovered you the first time was through something you had posted on Twitter pretty recently about having six kids and having a degree and being able to be CEO of a company and things like that.

And it's super, super impressive. But a year or two ago, you were tweeting about something around systems for getting everything done. And. That was your, seemed to me to be a little bit of your kind of cancel culture moment because you had this tweet thread about getting a lot of things done and your systems and things like that.

And you didn't say a whole lot about your wife in that tweet thread. Now, in this conversation, just in the few 20 minutes that we've been talking, you've talked about your wife a lot and the partnership that the two of you had. So I imagine that was really more of an oversight on your part, and it wasn't an intentional omission.

But I'm curious what you learned about that experience, and this probably comes back to the magic pill thing too, but what did you learn about that experience of kind of putting yourself out there online, getting a whole bunch of feedback? I mean, it was quite a moment, but not in a good way for you, I think.

Tobi: Yeah, certainly. I mean, definitely it's a moment that kind of has kind of been on my mind probably ever since. I would definitely say I went away with a certain amount of trauma from when that happened. And the simple reason being that when I wrote it, I just put this, you know, at the end I was at very end, the very end I was mentioning, Oh, you know, like my wife has given me this amazing life.

All I can do is best is manage my time to kind of serve her best, you know, that was kind of, but it's that complete lack of understanding that the way I had positioned the rest of the stuff, it seemed like, you know, here's this amazing person, he gets all of this stuff done and he has a system and that's because of the system, he's got all these amazing things and you can have it too.

And, you know, so from an outsider perspective, you just go, this is the, you know, biggest a-hole in the universe who thinks, you know, he is this superhero who does it all and doesn't even acknowledge anybody that's around him. and I think that just hit me so hard because it is absolutely not the way that I've ever seen myself.

I would probably definitely suffer from an inferiority complex and think like always, like there's somebody in any room I enter, I will always assume any conversation. I mean, I'm always assuming the other person is smarter. The other person knows more, they're more articulate, you know, this might be a language thing too, you know, whatever it is.

I'm always kind of. Trying to probably prove myself or thinking that I'm not, good enough. So to be then, you know, for that to be flipped on its head, to be presented as this really arrogant person. It just, it was horrendous because I just thought like, how could somebody get me so wrong and how could so many people get me so wrong?

So that was there was one element that was really hard to take because it wasn't the way I saw myself. The second element was incredibly hard was I think there were people that were kind of reading and saying like, you know, he probably didn't mean it that way It doesn't read well, you know should have said it differently, but you know learn your lesson but then there was kind of vitriol and hatred that went with it, so the sheer amount of DMs that told me that, you know, my wife should leave me, I'm probably cheating on her, you know, my kids will hate me forever, I should kill myself, it just, like, it went to such a, like, dark place, and I just thought, wow, like, this is insane, and obviously, afterwards you learn from the fact that, you know, a lot of times when people put so much hate on you, It is something within them that isn't right, and they’re just projecting.

But taking that much heat, tens of thousands of people liking posts saying like, you are a piece of garbage, that isn't easy to take. That was really horrendous. At the same time, you know, we're talking about living online, it's the people that I found through writing. The people that knew me that then DM me texted me, we went on calls that said, look, we know this isn't you.

And we're really sorry. That was a fantastic moment. But I think the hardest thing was probably standing in the kitchen on probably day two or three when this happened. So this happened and I didn't tell my wife. Right. Cause she wasn't really aware of any of the kind of online stuff. And I was standing in the kitchen and I just felt like crying because I felt like I had failed my family.

I had failed my job, you know, like being portrayed in such a light that there was no coming back from this. And what have I done? You know, am I going to be laid off? You know, what am I going to, what's my wife going to think of me? You know, so many people say that about me. And I became a really shy timid person for a few days.

And my wife knew something was up with me. And she said always like, what's up? And I said, Oh no, everything's okay. But in the meantime I was living with just like heart racing the whole time. Like I couldn't sleep for three days straight because my heart was racing so hard that I was not able to sleep.

And then I, you know, check messages at nighttime, which is like really stupid, but you know, just go online and just see more hate. And it's just like, it was so, you know, I would drop the kids off at school and I would just assume everybody had seen it and everybody hated me, you know, so it was just like, it was pretty intense.

but when I told her, so I think I posted on the Tuesday and I told her on the Friday. So it took a few days, and then I broke down. So I cried and, broke down and then, you know, she looked at it and she just, she couldn't believe…she was so angry at everything people were saying because she knew me and she knew this isn't like they're talking about somebody else.

Like, why are you even taking it so serious? Because we know this isn't true. You know, we're very much a team and I very much see her as the top parent in our family. so that was fantastic to have her backing and just saying, look, you know, I've read some of these comments, you know, some of them are complete BS and the other stuff, you know, you know, people are also seeing that there's a different side to it.

And people are really trying to screw this up and comments of people saying like, oh, let's go in and, you know, create more mayhem. But it's just when you, I think no human is made up to receive that much hate in one go, especially if it wasn't intended. Like I wasn't intending to put myself out there or saying anything negative you know, because it was single women and single moms coming in.

And it wasn't meant to offend anybody in any way so when it went bad, very badly, but so you are asking what have I learned from it? I think what I've learned from it is really trying to make sure that I present the real picture every time and not assume that people know because I've written something last week that in the new post, they know what I think.

So I need to always just make sure the full picture is presented, which is right.

Adam: Yeah. But it's also really interesting because it means you have to almost, you know...walk on eggshells a little bit, or kind of over explain a lot of things just to make sure that you don't get caught up in this kind of hurricane of anger online, because that's the, unfortunately, the kind of thing that gets fueled on the internet.

It does seem that you've recovered from it. Because the reason I discovered you was your more recent post. And I had no idea about the old stuff that happened until I went spelunking, in the history prepping for this show. So I really appreciate you sharing that with me.

I know it's super hard to reflect on that stuff and thank you for doing it and thank you for sharing the lessons that you learned.

Tobi: Yeah, sure. Again, if it helps anybody, you know, listening to this and just thinking about, you know, how can they portray themselves and equally have spoken to people who have received you know, kind of backlash for other things, you know, it's great to, to know that there's a way through.

And for me, it was very much thinking that hopefully there is a part of the message that can help people because that was the whole point of sharing online. And there were people saying, look, please, you know, keep sharing, there’s stuff to learn because there's so much, I learn from other people every single day from all walks of life.

And that's the beauty of social media.

Adam: Yeah. So I want to turn to a more positive part of the conversation, which is I would love to hear about your earliest memories of becoming a father. And I guess you've had six opportunities to reform early memories, but think all the way back to kind of the very beginning or maybe a couple of other sort of big moments throughout your fatherhood journey.

Tobi: So the thing that sprang to mind first - so with our son, with our oldest when he was, so it must have been winter time. So he was like four or five months old. And he was still kind of up at night. My wife would be feeding. And then afterwards he wasn't settling.

So I was just like walking up and down this bedroom, like, so, you know, like miles, probably like at night, every night, just walking with him, but being so happy, like I knew like the next day I'll be really tired. But it was just like holding this little bundle of joy, this, you know, this being just hearing him breathe and the warmth against me it was just pure bliss absolute pure bliss.

I mean, getting up at night and being woken up is never fun. But then as soon as you hold them, it's just, it was just a beautiful moment and it happened quite a few times. So that's the thing I think I remember kind of, with him quite vividly. And then the other thing would have been. Also going out for walks much more which I didn't do that, that like I went for kind of big hikes by myself, but not kind of gentle walks and it was kind of gentle walks in the afternoons.

You know when you kind of give him a kind of afternoon nap and just kind of walking the streets and just feeling so proud of pushing him like through the neighborhood and just going like, you know, he is. And like, also that I think my wife like entrusted me with taking him out and walking with him and, you know, just like those moments really stand out.

Adam: That's amazing. Yeah, I agree. I don't think I truly appreciated walking until I had kids. You know, you appreciate a lot of other things, other forms of exercise and movement, but something about a nice walk, a nice, quiet, calm walk, and I bet it's pretty nice in Scotland, too.

Tobi: Yeah, I think, I mean, lockdown for us, that shifted it completely because we're right by the kind of nature reserve in Edinburgh, there's a kind of local hills where I can see them from here, actually. And yeah, we were very lucky to be so close to that. And we just explored with the kids every day.

We went for walks and that has stuck with us. Yeah. I always thought walking was for old people and then there was nothing else to do. And we started walking. And yeah, also that just the calmness, like what it does for the kids. And then also personally, like, especially like walking or running without headphones, just the kind of peace of mind that comes to it and just listening into what's going on around you.

It's just, it's so calming. It's amazing.

Adam: It's pretty amazing. Yeah. One of the things that you told me in the prep for the show was that you described your kids as motivators and not excuses. And I'm wondering if you could tell me a little bit more about what you mean about that and how your kids motivate you.

Tobi: Yeah, that's funny because just a few days ago I was getting ready to go on an exercise bike and I just had our toddler with us, a three year old. And he turned to me cause I was putting on a kind of bike shoes and then he was like, you know, what are you doing? Why are you doing this?

You know, he's like, he was saying exercising and I said like, yeah, because I love you. And then he asked me again and I said it again, I was like, that's really the answer because I love you. I go and exercise. So, I've always kind of dabbled in fitness and was into CrossFit for a long time. But that was very much kind of like for me, you know, wanting to kind of be strong and fit and, you know kind of functional. But then once you have kids just like realizing like a lot of times, like the weird angles that you need to move a body in and stand and hold them. And, you know, it's just like, it's so uncomfortable and especially kind of lower back can be very taxing. So that was like from that kind of function perspective.

But then it was just like that thought of like, I want to like sprint with my grandkids and them not being able to catch me like I want to be like that involved, you know, sometimes I see in the hills, I see, so I like to walk with like one or two kids on my back and then sometimes I see like a granddad doing that, you know, going walking with the kid and I want to do that.

Like, I want to be able to walk with my grandkids on the back and explore the Scottish hills with them or wherever we're going to be. And just be that active grandfather and be, just be present, because if we're not healthy and fit, then we can't be present. And, you know, we've probably all have those experiences within our own families, when we have family members that are not fit, or whether that's overweight, or whether that's, you know, them suffering from an illness.

Like, that's the one thing, you know, if we can't do something against we should. So for me, it's not about an excuse saying, Oh, you know, my, three year old is here with me. I can't exercise. It's like, no, I need to exercise for him and finding a way, like I'm on the exercise bike and he's got a book with him and we're chatting.

So it's like, you know, we're still interacting. Yeah. So that's what I meant by that.

Adam: Yeah. And he sees you doing something positive, right? And modeling good behavior. What are some of the sort of excuses you see that people use with respect to their kids? Things that just kind of don't sit well with you or that you actively work against?

Tobi: Yeah, I guess the excuse is being that, you know, you can't live your life or your life ends when you have kids. Like that's probably the most common thing. So whatever hobbies you've got, whatever things you're trying to pursue or you were doing before you had kids. Very gross generalization here.

You know, whether that, you know, and I was the same, you know, like as a teenager going drinking and for some people that's maybe, you know, regularly going to the pub here or to a bar and hanging out with the boys and doing that sort of thing and maybe not equally of your own kind of health.

And actually saying no, like my kids are, you know, they're worth everything and making memories with them. Yeah. It's gonna trump me being drunk in a bar like any night, right? So I would much rather so like this, you know over the holidays now over the summer holidays We didn't go anywhere, but we were trying very hard to kind of make memories here.

So a couple of times we went up some of the higher hills here with the kids and there were fantastic days out and it's like it was one especially the last one it was raining It was, it got cold, you know, that's like all these things I could have done, you know, could have said, oh, we're just like, everybody just have an iPad and just like everybody just sit on the sofa and we could just chill out.

And, you know, I'll do some emails or if I don't, if I'm not working, I'll just, you know, chill out and watch a Netflix show. And, you know, of course, I've got kids, it's too hard to go outside. We're actually saying, no, let's turn this into an adventure. Let's make it something fun. Let's get fitter in the process.

Let's have this, these memories and these walks are going to stay with them for a lifetime. And we can talk about, because we will not remember another day of binge watching on the sofa, but that walk we will remember.

Adam: Yeah. That's a really, that's a really great story and a really great way to think about it. Is there something that you've found that you've had to give up or do less of now that you have six kids or since you became a father?

Tobi: So 100 percent I would say holding kind of friendships down is way harder. So we shouldn't pretend that it's, you know, suddenly you have, you've got six kids and nothing changes. So even having one child, everything changes after you've got one child. So it's, you know, it doesn't at that point really matter how many.

So obviously the, for me, fact that I've kind of left where I came from, so I've got a lot of friends still back in Germany, my family being back there, the distance doesn't make it easy anyway before we had kids, you know, I'd have like kind of weekly calls with my parents and regular calls with my friends, but now it's just, you know, Monday to Friday, it's just like kids get up at 6:30, they go to bed at nine, like that's a full day. And then the weekends are full because we're trying to either do something or just ferrying them around for, you know, sports or parties, or I don't know, whatever else is going on. And then sometimes it's just really hard. So sometimes I might just speak to my parents for 15 minutes on a car journey, but then the kids start screaming.

So you need to kind of postpone that for the next day. And the same for friends, right? So, you know, especially with kind of best friends, it would be, you know, love just talking to them for an hour and a half, but finding that time now that they also have kids is really tough. But we try and make a commitment to at least see each other like once a year and have just time together for two days.

But yeah that's probably the biggest sacrifice I'd say.

Adam: That's really funny that you mentioned talking to your parents on the phone And then the kids start screaming. I feel like kids have sort of a radar for this they're like, oh mom or dad or whatever parent they're doing something else. They're on the phone I know I should be really loud in the background.

Tobi: Yeah,because they get our attention. Yep.

Adam: That's true. That's true. What are some of the more or most surprising things that you've discovered as a dad?

Tobi: Most surprising things I've discovered as a dad. Is probably how much fun you can have with a baby. Like, you know, that stage when they're like between six months and a year and a half or two years old. I always looked at them because I didn't have siblings, you know, as I said, very little contact with my kind of cousins.

I always thought, you know, they need to be kind of toddlers before you can actually do something with them, you know, just speak and run and whatever. But actually they all have their little character traits that come out and, you know. Like making a baby laugh is like the most infectious thing you could ever do.

Like there's no way you're not smiling when you hear your baby laugh and you know like you could lie with them for an hour just doing these like backwards and forwards games that you just suddenly make up on the spot and they just laugh away and you'rejust having so much fun. And how much of a time suck that can be that you're just enjoying the moment.

So that is probably something I really didn't expect to happen.

Adam: That's amazing, it’s so easy to entertain a kid when they're that age because literally anything you do they find fascinating and you could just do this. They love repetition. So you just do the same thing over and over again and they're enthralled. It's pretty amazing. A lot harder to entertain the teenagers probably than the 6 month old.

Tobi: Oh, yeah. 100%.

Adam: So after you know get you've got kids at all different ages of the spectrum.

What would you say your favorite book to read to your kids is?

Tobi: So one I keep going back to, just because I'm a huge Lord of the Rings nerd, is I keep reading The Hobbit to them for all sorts of reasons. I think the whole kind of magic side, the whole kind of journey is amazing. So that's one. And then the other one I really absolutely love is Jocko Willink, he's done his own kids series, Warrior Kids and you've got five books out there and the kids have read them all multiple times. We've got multiple copies of them. We've got the audio books for the audio books. It's a very different genre. Obviously it's very much kind of that life advice. You know, that he's telling from that, kid's perspective. But we all absolutely love them. And the kids really enjoy that kind of, that idea of becoming like a warrior kid of working out, becoming smarter and just like becoming better and, you know, just kind of pushing themselves, which is very much aligned, I guess, with my, inner philosophy.

So, they're two very different styles of writing, but I like both of them for the kids.

Adam: Those are great. I'll make sure we include both of those links in the show notes. So other people can benefit too and find them. I've never heard of the Warrior Kids series, so that sounds really amazing. I'll have to check that out.

Tobi: Absolutely. Absolutely. Fantastic.

Adam: On the other side of the spectrum, I think we all have these, but has there ever been a book where that your kids are obsessed with that you would say is your least favorite book?

Tobi: There's two types. One is books that make noise. And if it's just especially one type of noise. So the kids were given at one point, they were given a book by their great grandparents, kitty book. And it could only make this kitten like kind of meow noise and just press it all the time.

And then we just, we gave it to their grandparents. So the kind of daughter of whoever gave it to us. And every time we visit, they find it again and they go, oh, do you remember? And they keep pressing it. Now it's funny. But at the time it was, pretty horrendous. And then the other thing is I'm not a big Peppa Pig fan.

So, you know, sometimes they got given books by that. It's just, I just. They were, I thought they were boring so I didn't enjoy reading them. Yeah.

Adam: I love that the genre of books that make noise, we've had some of those in our house and mysteriously, the batteries have gone missing from those books.

I don't know how it happens, but it's a miracle!

Tobi: I have no idea how that could happen, yeah.

Adam: One of the other things that you told me when we were getting ready for the show is that you have this philosophy that memories trump possessions. What did you mean by that?

Tobi: Yeah. I mean, again it's interesting how much I have probably also learned from my wife from that side. So, me growing up back in Germany, I was in a school that was kind of populated by a lot of quite rich families and we were absolutely not rich by any means. We went on one holiday with our car.

In the summer holidays, that was it. Everybody else went like skiing and the second, third holiday. I went to school with kids and there were multiples of them who, so in Germany, you could drive from the age of 18. Not before, so no, no practice driving really before by yourself, but they were given like Mini Coopers when they were 17 and they would just sit in the garage for a year, like just a new car.

Like they're not even, couldn't even use it. It was just there because they wanted it. So that's the level of like kind of money that was kind of floating around. And I guess to a certain degree that influenced me where I just thought, Oh, okay. So if you want to be successful, that's what that means. You need to like, get a high powered internship, maybe in Hong Kong at one point, maybe finance would be a good thing to do. Uh, You want to drive a BMW or Mercedes later, you know, live in the suburbs and where certain brands and, you know, so that was, I think I was growing up kind of thinking that was really important.

And then my wife also growing up with kind of very little money. For her, it was always, you know, this kind of very strong family person was just like, no, we're gonna like go on holidays together. Like if we have money, we need to spend the money on going on holidays or doing things together or little outings that are special for the kids.

Like now with Halloween coming up, you know, she's researching all the little pumpkin patches and spooky trails and all of that stuff. So no fancy car, no fancy anything. Let's pour all our money into epic family holidays. And epic doesn't mean. that we spend all, you know, that they are super expensive, but just like adventurous, or, you know, if we can make three weeks instead of two, let's do that.

Because that's going to stay with us much longer than, you know, difference between me driving a Ford and a Mercedes makes no difference to us looking back on our lives, but as having, you know, gone on holiday to amazing parts of the world or spend more time together that's more important.

Adam: Wow. I love that. Memories trump possessions. It's such an amazing way of thinking about it. And when I think back to, you know, you're absolutely right. I don't remember a lot of the things in my life. I definitely don't remember the things that I had as a kid, but I do remember the trip or the, you know, adventure that me and my family went on.

So that's really fantastic advice. Are there any other frameworks or guardrails or any sort of other kind of principles that you've created or established as a parent that help you with parenting.

Tobi: I think it's a principle that I've kind of adopted for life. And now I'm going to go back to the second book author I mentioned Jocko, who has just on me and, kind of my life, has been a huge influence, absolutely huge influence. And I think that's one of the beauties of the kind of modern age that we live in, that we're actually able to.

I think assemble like mentors or group of mentors that will never meet us. They don't know we exist, but they can still mentor us. And I've been lucky to have been on a couple of kind of group zoom calls with them and asking a couple of questions, which was fantastic with this kind of leadership.

Absolutely amazing. But yeah, I've just absorbed this podcast for years and years every morning when I'm working out it's running the kids, you know, that was one of the first words for some of them. It's kind of knowing how this Jocko on again. So a bit obsessive. But the message is so positive and his, one of the main messages being you know, discipline equals freedom.

And that is something that is just like translated into kind of all areas of my life, especially when it comes to time management, because time management or organizing your time when there is so much going on is so, so crucial. And for me, that starts also early in the morning where I know that little bit of me time that I have which is typically that kind of between 5-6:30 in the morning. That's the only time I have just by myself where I'm not going to be interrupted most of the time.

Now having kids, you're going to get interrupted at that time too. Or they've interrupted you between 2 and 4 and there is no 5 a. m. get up. So that happens plenty of times. But knowing that, like being disciplined to get up then gives me, for me it's the emotional freedom to have said, okay, I've done my bit.

I've done something for myself. I've worked out. I've listened to podcast, audio book, whatever, music, spent some time for myself and now I'm ready to, be present for the family and to serve the family, to serve the business. So that's been massive. And this approach of being disciplined in your areas in life to gain freedom, that's been massive for me also for parenting.

Adam: You and I seem to have a very similar schedule. I've been trying to get up at 5 a. m. lately and it's new for me, but it's really transformed. You know, I'm not trying to be a self help person or a fitness guru or anything, but I really like that 5 a. m. that window between, as you mentioned, 5-6:30 and it's pretty special and it does set me up for success for the whole rest of the day.

So speaking of which. I'm very curious because I do not have six kids. I'm curious to hear you take me through a typical day. Maybe there is no typical day, but what is your best definition? And what is a typical day in your household look like?

Tobi: So a typical weekday from kind of my point of view cause there will be, there are eight points of view. They will all kind of differ.

Adam: Sure. Yeah. Let's hear it from, let's hear it from your perspective. Yeah.

Tobi: So a typical Monday to Friday, because as we said, so weekends are a bit atypical, but for me, the 5am alarm is kind of, that's when a good day starts.

And between kind of five and five 30, it just be kind of getting ready, maybe reading a bit having some water and just kind of, sorting myself out five 30, normally I'll go work out, whether that's, I've got a little shed in the garden. So just do some weights, do some something there or go for a run, which is fantastic because we've got the local hills here.

Sometimes it's an earlier rise at the moment because I'm training for a big race. So I have to put in a bit more effort, but yeah, so that would be it. Then very clearly have to be back in the house by six 30 at the latest. So. My wife is also working out in the morning most of the time. And so 6:30 is our time. We're both kind of ready because then the kids get up sometimes a bit sooner. So workouts might have to be cut short, but that's the beauty of working out at home. But yeah, so 6:30 they get up and then it's breakfast, getting the baby up then sorting all their lunches out.

If possible, sort out our lunches. And on a good morning, I'll also, most of the time we be me at the moment is sorting out kind of dinner or at least dinner prep and then my wife might come in later. So it's very fluid kind of team work that we do, but if we can sort of dinner be fantastic.

So again, like it happened yesterday and it was a saving grace. Otherwise we would have not eaten until 8 PM. So get that done. Then eight o'clock school run. So drive to school between eight back at nine. And then a lot of times what I'll try and do is the school isn't that far away. So I'll take my kind of lunch break, eat in the car, pick up some of the kids that I finished at lunchtime, come back home work till the afternoon, and then...

Later in the afternoon, I'll have a kind of Dad taxi duty where I'll be ferrying them around, you know, again, ballet, judo, tennis, I don't know, whatever else they're kind of into at the moment. And I have a little plastic tray that I keep telling everybody about. So I've got this little tray that just hooks into your steering wheel and I have my laptop always with me.

So if it's like an hour or up to an hour and a half that I'm waiting, I normally have like, one or two of the little kids making mayhem in the back of the car. And then I'm trying to catch up on like emails, admin, so no meetings, but that kind of admin task. I'll do that in the car waiting for the others to finish their lesson.

Come back home, have dinner, family time, reading stories, baths, the kind of normal routine. And then between 8 most nights I will go back and work. So catch up and then 9:30 till 10, 10:30, me and my wife will kind of have some time together and then kind of bet it's a bit late but I think it's at the moment, it's the only way we can fit it in, and I'd rather have that late night second shift of work, which I didn't have for a long time, but the last year really between 8-9:30 but it allows me to then have the time with them in the afternoon and be present.

So I see them when they're not in school, I'm somehow around maybe not always in the afternoon. But otherwise I'm around and that's a price worth paying.

Adam: Yeah. That. Wow. What a schedule. And then wake up and do it all over again the next morning.

Tobi: That's it. That's it. But that's why the morning is so important because it's the bit that's for you,

Adam: Yeah. Yeah. Hopefully people are going to take some detailed notes on this so they can incorporate it into their own lives.

Tobi: Everybody needs to find their way. Yeah.

Adam: If they think about having anywhere from one to six or more children, they can borrow this schedule. So I love it.

Thank you. Not too dissimilar from mine actually. Very good. Okay. So just a couple more questions. One of the things that I've found and we've talked about on this show and even in this conversation is that partnership with your significant other, super important when you have kids being on the same page, being aligned, having and sharing philosophies and things like that, but it's also hard.

It's hard to agree all the time. So I love to ask people, what is something that you and your wife don't agree on when it comes to parenting?

Tobi: So, I think it's easy to start by saying like, my wife is the better parent. I've got no doubts about that. She's the one who's, you know, starting to be a teacher wants to maybe go into early years. And she's the one that has all the kids kind of schedule and all the, presents for parties and what they need to dress as.

And, you know, that's her world. I mean, she wants to do it, but it's just insane. It's absolutely insane. Like, I'm just like the robot just saying, okay, you just tell me where I need to be at what time with which kids and I'll deliver them. But she's working all of that out. But she’s so giving that I think sometimes to her own kind of detriment. So I might say, look, it's really important to sometimes just, as I said, for instance with my kind of best friend, even just find a weekend in the year. Which is like a huge strain on the family like one of us being away for a week and it's a big strain that's not easy at all

Adam: Yeah.

Tobi: But she kind of chooses probably not to do it.

She wants to be with her kids she's very different to anybody I've ever met and my mom also said that the other day she said look, she's different like she just wants to be with the kids all the time, she doesn't want to take a break. And I think that's sometimes where we might clash where I might say, and even like we were talking about like kind of early morning workouts and if I sometimes might ask for like a longer run, like saying, can I go for two, two and a half hours?

And if we need to kind of schedule that in and she would, okay, she will always facilitate it, but she can't really understand why. And I'm just like, if I'm able to just do that for myself, then I'm better for you guys back home, but she's different. She's differently wired. So sometimes that might be a clash, but the clash is more because she wants to spend more time as a unit.

And I think some of us, and me included, will sometimes like say, do you know what, just having a bit of time away is not a bad thing at times. So that probably the most common friction point, which isn't a massive discussion, but that's it.

Adam: Yeah. That's a really, really good one. Okay, couple more for you. What is a mistake that you've made as a father?

Tobi: Lose my temper.

Like when it was really not necessary. When you just, you think you're in the right, and you think you need to make this point, and you need to instill on that kid that they were like in the wrong and, you know, they shouldn't be doing that. And it just, it escalates.

And, you know, at one point, like you get super flustered and they get flustered, especially as they get older, there's more back chat with that, you know? And actually when you go back and you just, you lie in bed and you go. That was not necessary. Like we didn't need to go to that place where we both were angry at each other because it wasn't that important.

And he should have just let it go. And I think that's the thing I've found with most dads I talked to as well as like that emotional resilience of actually just sometimes just letting it go was so good at doing that at work. Where we just go like, you know, somebody might ruffle our feathers.

So we go in and we already don't like the other person, but we're still nice. We're still pleasant. And then with our own kids, we just lose the temper. It's just like, it's really stupid. So that would be my one.

Adam: I can very much relate to that, especially what you mentioned about the professional versus personal. It's so much easier professionally. What do you do to recover from that when you lose your temper? How do you come back from that?

Tobi: I mean, nowadays I would definitely try to, if it happens to make up with the kid as soon as I can. So it might've been beforehand. You might go like, Oh, you know, I'll wait till tomorrow, whatever. But I wouldn't like, I would just, as soon as I realized like, this is stupid, like hey leave it and just give them a hug as soon as possible and just, you know, just drop it.

You know, we're good. I mean, we spent so much time with each other. You know, as a family that we've seen all the bad sides, we know, but we also, I think deep down just know that, you know, we are a loving family and this stuff is stupid and we should just drop it.

Adam: That's great. I love that. And the speed of getting there really important. Don't let it fester.

Last question for you before we get into rapid fire. If people want to follow along with your journey, learn about what it's like to be a CEO and have six kids. What's the best way for people to follow along or be helpful to you?

Tobi: Yeah, if they want to follow along. So I'm at kind of tobi_emonts on Twitter and on Instagram. So the two kind of different platforms Twitter obviously being the biggest thing, but the, probably the most personal stories I share in my newsletter. So if you go on the you know, probably in the show notes, you have a link to the website and it's a easy kind of sign up for a sub stack.

I send every Friday, I send kind of, an email, a letter out which is stuff I don't share anywhere else, which is very personal. It's very much about stuff that happened and how I'm trying to deal with it and lessons learned. And that's probably the best way people are interested in that sort of thing.

Adam: Awesome. I love that and we will absolutely link to it in the show notes and everyone should go subscribe to it right now. Run. Do not walk to your nearest computer to subscribe. Okay. Well, thank you, Tobi. Are you ready for rapid fire?

Tobi: Let's go for it.

Adam: Here are the rules of rapid fire. I ask you a question. And you, as quickly as you can, respond with the first thing that comes to mind.

And then we move on to the next question. Maybe they'll be broken up by some laughter, we'll see. Okay. Here we go. What is the most indispensable parenting product that you have ever purchased?

Tobi: My little tray for the car.

Adam: What is the most useless parenting product that you have ever purchased?

Tobi: A bouncy harness for the door that was trying to help babies walk. It really didn't work.

Adam: We had that too at one point Okay, you have six kids, which one of them is your favorite?

Tobi: All of them.

Adam: All right, most frustrating thing that has ever happened to you as a dad?

Tobi: Running out of nappies or diapers when we were out and about.

Adam: Oh, that would be frustrating. What is the favorite age that you've had for your kids so far?

Tobi: They are all really special. But I think if I go back to that really young age of these like moments of hours and hours of lying on the floor and having a laughing baby next to you, I think that's number one.

Adam: That's awesome. What about the least favorite age for your kids so far?

Tobi: I'm assuming it will be teenage years because I can see with a 13 year old, it's going to be, it's going to be fun.

Adam: Yep, that's, I hear that from a lot of people. Alright, screen time. Are you good with it? Is it bad or are you indifferent?

Tobi: If you have a framework around it, I think it's great and we love our movies, but I think if you just let kids just watch without any boundaries I see a massive impact on their social behavior and also how they behave with each other. They fight way more if they have like just endless amount of screen time.

Adam: I agree with this. I was just having a text exchange with several other parents about this exact topic. Alright, I'm gonna come back to Peppa Pig. What is it about Peppa Pig that really makes you not like it?

Tobi: It's just dumb. It's just so, it's just like, everything, the drawing is too simple. It's just. The stories doesn't tell you anything. It's just silly. It's just, yeah, no joy.

Adam: Gotcha. So let's look past the posh British accent and say no to Peppa Pig. Okay. What is your policy on snacks before dinner time?

Tobi: If I can prevent it, 100 percent yes. But there are moments if I'm trying to be on a call, even in a different room and I've got somebody howling next to me, I will give in.

Adam: Yeah. What is the most embarrassing thing that you've ever done in front of your kids? And this is probably for the, maybe more for the teenagers or the older kids.

Tobi: Oh most embarrassing thing I've done. It would be probably trying to be funny in front of their friends.

Adam: Ooh, that is a mortal sin right there. Don't ever do it. Have you ever pretended to be asleep to avoid one of your kids waking you up in the middle of the night?

Tobi: No, but I told them that I'm tired.

Adam: There you go. What is the most absurd thing that a child has ever asked you to buy for them?

Tobi: Absurd thing. Well, it's not just one thing, but we've got one child who wants to buy something in every store she goes into. And when she doesn't get it, she will cry and be really upset and you think you broke her heart. But then half an hour later, she'll go into this other shop and the same thing will happen again.

So that's just…

Adam: I love that. I love that. So basically every 30 minutes there's another absurd thing that she wants.

Tobi: Yeah, especially when we're on holiday and going from shop to shop. It's just like, it is absurdity galore.

Adam: Yep. Yep. What is the, maybe the answer is Peppa Pig, but what was the most difficult kids TV show that you have ever had to sit through?

Tobi: I don't think Peppa Pig, because Peppa Pig is fairly short. But there, there used to be ah, something with talking dogs. Like there's some sort of rescue talking dog scenario.

Adam: Rescue range? No, not rescue rangers. I know what you're talking about. We're going to put this in the show notes because it’s impossible not to. It's one human and several talking dogs

Tobi: That's it. That's it. Yeah.

Adam: That's the one. And they all have different jobs. Yep. Yep. My kids also used to watch this and now the name is escaping me because I've blocked it from memory.

You mentioned you watch a lot of movies as a family. What is your favorite family movie?

Tobi: So my wife is absolutely in love with two movies. One is Father Of The Bride one and two. So the original with Steve Martin. But I think as a family, it's probably Cheaper By The Dozen. Which is like, you know, we can say we can have relate to what's going on there. Like some of those moments.

Adam: Literally. You can literally half relate. Yes.

Tobi: Yeah. But I think as a family, that's probably when we like to watch the most together.

Adam: We'll link to that one too. For those who don't know, Cheaper By The Dozen is about a family that has 12 kids. So, and Tobi has half that number. How good are you at assembling toys and children's furniture?

Tobi: Probably expert level by this point.

Adam: Wow. What is the absolute worst experience that you have ever had assembling a toy or a piece of furniture?

Tobi: My son was given once it was meant to be like a really smart kind of helicopter style toy, which I think was trying to be semi like Lego, but it was made out of metal. And it had like all these nuts and bolts and screws and the instructions were absolutely horrible. But it said it was within his age range, so he got super frustrated and then I tried to help and I got frustrated because it was just like, it didn't make sense, so we had to just go with the picture and I was, it just wasn't fun.

I felt sorry for him.

Adam: Yeah. You need the intellect of an adult, but the tiny hands of a child in order to build something like that. What is the weirdest place that you've ever found a diaper?

Tobi: Where have I not found a diaper? I mean, that's the thing. You know, I've honestly, I mean, I've found, we found them in like bags that were going to go out, that any place in the car, like the, you know, like glove compartment, like even like, it just, it's one of those where you give it to like an older one and you just say, can you just put it somewhere?

Like I'm going to get rid of it and then you can't find it. And they've just put it somewhere and just go why would it be here? And the stuff that's under the couch at times, I mean, it's just crazy.

Adam: I love that. I love that. Have you accidentally mixed up your children's names?

Tobi: Every day, all day long.

Adam: Do you ever eat something off the floor using the five second rule?

Tobi: Probably would extend it to like 50 seconds depends on what the food item is. But yes.

Adam: as long as you get to it before the dog, hopefully.

Tobi: Yes. Yeah. No, not after. Yeah.

Adam: Okay. How many times have you said, go ask your mother this week?

Tobi: So my wife has been really ill this week, so I haven't. I've actually told them not to go ask their mother, but they don't listen. They still want to ask mommy.

Adam: Oh, no. Okay. Yes, I literally had that experience with my kids where I said, Mom is downstairs working and they immediately went downstairs to bother her.

Tobi: Yeah, it's the only thing they want to do then, is talk to mommy. Yeah.

Adam: Last question. With six kids, what kind of a car do you drive? And what is your perspective on minivans?

Tobi: Well, I obviously have to say that I like minivans. It would be very silly if I didn't. We've got a nine seater uh, four toner, which is like a transit you know, van type. So, yeah, it's fantastic. It's the only way.

Adam: I know one other person who owns one of those and she has five kids. So that checks that box.

Tobi: Yeah, probably from four kids onwards, it's good.

Adam: Yeah, I think so. And we have a vote for pro minivan. So happy to have you on team minivan. That's fantastic. Well, Tobi, thank you so much for joining me today. This has been a really fun interview.

I learned a ton. Your schedule is amazing and I love your story. So thank you. I think it'll be really helpful to a lot of folks.

Tobi: Thank you so much. That was yeah, it was great fun speaking with you. And yeah, just hopefully it's useful to some folk out there

Adam: Thank you for listening to today's conversation with Tobi Emonts-Holley. If you enjoyed the show today, please subscribe, share, and leave me a review. It'll help other people find this podcast. Startup Dad is a Fishman AF production with editing support from Tommy Heron. You can also stay up to date on my thoughts on growth, product, and parenting by subscribing to the Fishman AF newsletter at www.Fishmanafnewsletter.com. Thanks for listening.